change

I love "before and after"s. Whatever their subject - revamped side table, magazine's style remake or comparison between celebrities' recent and childhood photos. There is something fascinating about them. Change happens all the time around us, but very rarely we are able to notice it clearly. We are part of it, and seeing it's second-by-second progress we can hardly even realize something is going on. It is only when we put together the "before and after" that we can see more clearly. Change in itself is an interesting idea, just the fact that it can, and constantly does, happen. I don't like big changes personally. I know they are necessary and sometimes surprise... but I do enjoy the comfort of routine and the known. If I have to choose between unknown new and known old, I often take the latter. Change is risky. Everyone has different levels of comfort in relation to changes. Each of us has a line, on which the natural vibrant unknown dances between excitement and anxiety.
It might be that because my work (teaching) brings constant surprise,  and my plans often need rearranging  and I am often forced to respond on the spot to unknown challenges, that I need a strong, calm and predictable private life. My home is my haven, my relaxing zone. Here I can hide and reload before I have to meet the world outside. I am so happy I didn't have to move this summer (for the first time in a number of years).

But I realize how much I change. With each therapy session, each article and book read, each good discussion with a student or a friend. I love seeing photos of my decorating process and how my boring, squarish rental became vibrant, colorful and "mine".
oh, I wish I could easier open to the changes and challenges that I face around me.