It's been hard to master enthusiasm at work, now that I know I am not coming back. But I notice surprisingly low amount of anger and no desire to get revenge. I am looking forward, considering various options of future employment. But I have a colleague in the same situation as mine and I am more and more disappointed with his reaction. He is full of anger, and tries to get me into this spin as well. He does not only joke, but openly says (even to students!) that he's done with teaching for this year. How can he say that? That kind of attitude is robbing off my employer and my students. I am paid for the job I am doing now, and I working because that's what I was hired to do, not because I hope for the employment next year. It's harder now, and I may joke about "what will they do, fire me?", but it's just joking with me. I still take my work very seriously. The students especially did not deserve getting crappy education because of my private issues.
I have noticed some angry reactions from some of the students. Two of them had similar kind of comments - why the school can't fire the "bad teachers". As much as I may have some personal thoughts as to who should go and who should stay and there is some bitterness on my tongue... (I am not a saint!) I try and keep it to myself. I was very clear to the kids, that there are no "bad teachers" in the school. It was nice to hear they express their affection to me, but that's not the way I want it, I don't want to hear I am "better" than my colleague from a fifteen-year old. They can't appreciate the depth of his knowledge, the traditional upbringing he got and the seriousness of his commitment to his traditions. They like me, b/c I am more "cool". But teaching is not a popularity contest.
On Sunday I have my first interview - over the skype. I am nervous but also confident enough. I more and more feel confident about finding something, now the question is, how good and where...
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