I am going to Chicago

I got the job. I am relieved, even if I don't really fell it... I am still anxious and stressed as obviously it's not finished. Now it's about papers and visa, then moving, finding an apt and so on... But, I got the job! I feel like it will be a good thing for me, change, more social options, more life... I think I need to come out of my shell more, and living without a car in this village made it really difficult. I want to go out sometimes, but the logistics make it prohibitive. I will live in the city! Not downtown, obviously, but nowhere near the suburban desert I live in now. There will be cafes, shops, clubs, pubs, artsy stuff, university, cinemas... normal life. I really need it. I wish I could skip the legal/immigration paper work... it's stressful, expensive and time consuming. At least searching for apt is more fun... in theory. But I have no idea how I can choose anything from here... I don't know if I would be as lucky as with the apt in my complex, I don't want to be hoaxed or end up with a year-long lease for a dirty hole with cockroaches. In photos you can make any place look decent. I will check the apartments ratings, maybe that will narrow down the best in my budget. I will have to only sized down, but also pay slightly more than I am paying now, with the salary almost same as now (just a bit less). I could theoretically find an apt or studio for less than now, but even in the photos it was obvious they were bad quality. I want the best quality for what I can afford. I prefer to save the $100 on other things and add it to the rent. This time it should be easier... I have all the most important furniture, kitchen appliances, dishes and so on. I don't have to spend much on the house anymore. I have to be able to continue supporting my mother, I was hoping to raise the amount  I sent her monthly. Maybe I will be able to get something on a side...

In the meantime, I am trying to catch up on blogs, I found some new ones which were interesting but that's for another entry.

got back from an app't with my immigration lawyer.

i despise borders. i never could grasp the idea of borders, countries, states... since I was a kid. I still have troubles with the fact that some clerk can decide I have no right to live in a place that suits me best, where I like it.

Even just a few hundred years ago people were free to migrate. They preferred to stay among their own, who speak same language and live similar lives. But sometimes, for myrriads of reasons they felt the need to move... and they could. Today? No way.

I'm lucky anyway, just a generation ago I wouldn't be allowed to leave my country to go to Israel or the US, my first passport was only for the countries in the soviet block. my Mom couldn't even dream to leave the region.

We were born to move. that's what we've been doing for the past few millions years... humans are always on the move.

It's a bit like wearing shoes. They are useful, protect from some uncomfortable surroundings, can be nice and colorful and let us be different from others, express ourselves. But truly, deeply inside I now that the happiest I am when I walk barefoot. That's what my body needs, that's what is natural, normal and good.

borders are so artificial. one man boasting he can separate himself from another, to limit the other... but at the same time limiting himself. We can't just build fences to force each other into small holes. and make friendships of privilege with pigeons from other richer holes.

the most strange thing recently I observe here is the hellish wars over Latino immigration (b/c of course it's not really about "illegal" immigration, it's about "non-white, poor, worse-kind-of-humans" immigration). and I am just wondering... can't people see these people are just coming back to their own land stolen from them during unprovoked US-Mexico war? They are mostly indigenous people, either from the lands of south-west US or the regions close and around. It's their land, their ancestors. and they used to be able to travel and migrate to their heart desire, depending on weather, seasons, animal migration, populations, diseases, geography... NOT stupid artificial lines drawn on map by some guys with too much testosterone.

I will be applying for my green card soon. I can't even imagine that some anonymous clerk might, with one signature, destroy all my plans, dreams, relationships, hopes, wishes...