the privilege of following your dreams

After I got the camera with one basic lens, I have been spending a lot of time learning about other lenses and their prices. I can't afford any of it now, I hope I will be able to save for a macro in a few months.
I felt a bit of self-pithy for my poor self, that I had to wait so long before buying a decent camera, even though I love photography and have been told to produce quite good photos.
But then... I do have the camera. And before I could play with a pretty good point and shoot. It's hard, I can't get the high-shelf or multiple lenses... But I have it.

I can only imagine how many people in this country (so OMG developed and rich) can't follow their dreams, passions and talents because of their financial situation. There are no photography classes in public schools where kids could borrow a camera to learn. Free art classes with supplies provided. Free sculpture or lithography classes. Free dance classes of many kinds. My mom dropped out of Academy of Arts because she could not afford the supplies (the school was in Poland, for free, but the supplies not provided). My father dropped out from full-time chemistry studies, because of financial situation. He had to go full time work, and was studying weekends for more profitable industry - mining.

It pains me that access to art and self-expression is still a form of privilege. As if the poor had no passions, dreams, talents and visions. We, as a society, assume they are born to work physically, know their place and keep their heads down. We assume the poor cannot be sophisticated, sensitive, visionary, genius, fascinating human beings. The poor are not allowed to worry about arts or higher thinking. That's luxury. They are not supposed to want to live in a nice places, to have access to beauty in many forms. They are forced to live in ugly housings, ugly and dirty neighborhoods, grey and sad schools.

So I will keep on enjoying my new camera, rejoicing with the chance I have to live my passion. And remember how privileged I am to have it.

market-driven society

I admit that I can't understand the position that wants to leave everything to the self-regulatory nature of free market. I am pretty good at understanding various points of view, I like speculating on possible reasons and origins of someone's behavior, political views or oppressive tendencies.
And I can't get how anyone can think free market can regulate everything. Including education, racism, health care, culture, equality, workers' rights and so on. How can you privatize charity and support for the weakest in your society? How can you leave it to the market? Market is driven by greed, not compassion, long-term thinking or tolerance. It is about the profit, the higher the better. It's about stepping over others' backs, it's about selfishness and egocentrism. There is no need for reaching out to the weaker, the underprivileged, victimized by racism, inequality and judiciary abuse.
I remember one person telling me that the government has no place in charity, that this should be left to individuals. That when a person gives or receives charity that way the interpersonal relationships strengthen, character gets stronger and so on. But what about the ones who have no family? Who are asocial and burned bridges with their former friends or neighbors? Who came back scarred and traumatized from wars, unable to keep steady work and fit back in the society? Should we just let them die? Punish them for being born in a wrong neighborhood?
When we leave everything to the market humans become just another numbers in accountant's documents. Market doesn't care about investing in souls, spending on dignity or merging social gaps.

Are these people in denial? Do they really believe that in the quest for ever-raising profits people would remember to take care of the old, sick and weak? Or do they just dream to be part of the top 1% and are willing to step on own compassion for the sake of this dream? I can't understand what is wrong with the idea that spreading wealth helps fight inequality and builds stronger societies.

And I could get the rich supporting these policies, but they are the top 1%, even with all the money they wouldn't be able to achieve so much. They have poor masses supporting them. For what? For a dream of becoming one day another abusive rich pig?

growing economic inequality

I've just read a very good article and it got me thinking.

As others, I am mighty worried about the turn of elections. I also can't understand it. I can't get why it is seen as a positive boost to the country's economy when the top percentile gets to be richer and the rest struggle to pay bills. The taxes go lower and lower, and tax cuts for the richest just cause them to stuff their wallets and happily fire workers when used up. The workers salaries hardly changed over the past decades, being below the levels from the '60s. At the same time the salaries of the richest multiplied.
To be honest, I had no idea that the top 1% is when the medium salary is above $368,000 (according to this presentation from Slate). I really thought that to be in the top one percent you have to earn above million $ or something like that... well, that's what the top 0.1% is. I really thought that if you are a successful "small" businessman, lawyer with a partner who's a successful doctor and so on, it will place you in "high middle class", somewhere around top 30% or so... not top 1%.
The huge disparity between the rich and poor is scary. I can't understand how people vote by millions for the rich to get richer instead of helping fellow human to get up on his/her feet and be successful.
Our economy is not stimulated by building one more mansion or one more huge yacht. It's moving thanks to millions who are able to afford going to the movies, restaurants, or for a week of vacation. Who can afford buying grocery, regular clothes and ordinary cars. Who are able to buy new appliances, carpets and books. That's what moves the economy ahead, not the top 0.1% investing in their own riches, not caring at all what is going on with their workers.

I am lucky, I have a job. At least till June. I work like a horse, much more than I should, because these are hard times... As a teacher in a private school I shouldn't be expected to teach 6 classes a day, with no increased salary. But I am still glad I do have a job, where I am respected, appreciated and where I actually like what I am doing. I am by myself, I don't need to worry about my kids, unemployed spouse and bills. I do support my Mom, but as for now I am managing it. And it is truly disturbing that with my teacher salary I am probably somewhere in the top 40%. It really shouldn't be the case.

I don't know how the poor people do it.

I live pretty thrifty and generally don't have any problem with not being able to afford much. I am saving, I don't eat out, I wear eBay and goodwill finds. I go for a couple months staying away from any temptations (like eBay), not feeling deprived or anything of that kind. Recently, thanks to a forgotten return, I suddenly had a comfortable cushion of a few hundred dollars on my account. Normally I live juggling between savings and checking accounts, visiting my bank site pretty often, scared of an overdraft. Most of the months I am ending just above zero or have to get something from savings to safe myself from overdraft penalty.
Suddenly I could do shopping without trying to remember how much exactly I had left, I knew that buying a $30 of grocery wouldn't be a risk. I couldn't help it and went on eBay, bought a few clothing items, shoes, posters for classroom and home, some tchatchkes for home and considered much more with the wonderful thought that I could afford them if I only wanted them. It was nice to go to Marshall's and buy $13 shower curtain because it was pretty, without constant thinking that maybe I shouldn't, that it's too expensive. It felt so... normal. I actually thought "so that's what wealthier people shop like". I still felt guilt, I still felt I should rather put it all away into savings... but it felt so good... Now I will have to again tie up the belt as usual, watch the account, be careful and think twice over each item... but it was kind of therapeutic.


And I just wonder how poor people do it. I had a "vacation" from the thrifty routine (even if still thrifty, as I don't buy in regular stores), a fresh breath before jumping back under water. And I don't have to choose between better food or new jacket for a kid. I have nice clothes (even if second-handed), I can afford medicine, therapy and visits to specialists. I have a health care, good job, computer and tv set. I have a nice, spacious apartment with all needed furniture and appliances. I don't have a car, but it's fine, I walk a lot and use a bus.

I don't need much, I don't obsess or run around full of envy. I have wishes and dreams (travels!), but am not bitter for not being able to fulfill them now. But I just wish I could relax when buying simple things, everyday necessities, second-hand clothes or old decorative stuff. The chronic stress is very tiring. 

Another day in The Rich Paradise

It never ceases to amaze me how egocentric and short-sighted many of the rich are. How one arrives at that point? Is it years of uprooting own guilt or working on creating a perfect image of oneself in which one finally believes? Why is it never enough? Why is it so hard to see that the majority of people struggle every day to just get by? Do they really believe that these masses deserve it? That somehow they got what they were asking for? That they are lazy and/or stupid? Is it really so difficult to take some responsibility for the well being of a fellow human? Is it really such an offense to ensure everyone has an access to health care? That workers are paid respectable wages which let them support themselves and their families? While the salaries and general wealth of the top few percents of the society in the past two decades grew between 87% - 256%, it rose only around 10% - 20% for the 3/5 of the society. At the same time the costs of colleges rose over 100%. Inflation-adjusted minimum wage dropped 25%. In 1980 CEOs in big corporations were getting on average about 100 times that of minimum wage worker. Today? It's 1,100 times as much as minimum wage workers. 
To me that is obscene. And they still obstruct any changes to minimum wages, lobby against tax cut expiration, and fight with teeth and nails against any tax changes for them. 


An article in The Washington Post on the drastic and scary raise in poverty among African American and other minority children in DC and surroundings. 


Confuse and destroy! Laws proposed in Georgia, with extremely biased and suggestive language, which would give extreme control over a worker's choice of workplace. 

For example, a hardware store could use a non-compete agreement to ensure that any employee that leaves does not work for any of its competitors or even within the same industry for a number of years of its choosing. The hardware store would use the threat of lawsuits to enforce the contract.

The richest Congress member fights against the expiration of tax cuts for the richest. Of course he has only the best of the country in mind, not his own or his golf club pals. 


Who cares that there are still millions of Haitians waiting for help? The promise and good words should be enough, right? As long as I have full plate, a nice wheels in my garage and a house I can get lost in, I don't care there are poor, hungry and homeless tragedy victims waiting for the relief money. Let's just wait with deciding these stupid details... anyway, the Haitians don't vote for us, so why care?

this and that.

some interesting, moving, or funny things I found today. I obviously am using my days off to break a record in reading online :)

1. A wonderful advice for all women who struggle with male dominance at work:

Jezabel added a few extras to the citi's list:

1. Women tend to have two X chromosomes — you are not heard.

2. Women menstruate in public — emphasizes your femininity and deemphasizes your capability.

3. Women sit vaginally — the power position when seated at a table is to have a penis.

4. Wear panties in meetings — boxer-wearers are seen as more assertive and knowledgeable than those in lacy underthings.

5. Women have wombs — children come out of wombs. Men don't reproduce, they conquer.

6. Ovulate — women ovulate at the smallest provocation which erodes your self-confidence. Men tend to move into sperm producing mode.

7. Women tend to smile inappropriately — an "inappropriate" smile is a smile that is on a woman's face.

8. Observe "Rules" — rules are made to be broken by men. When women break them, it is a violation of workplace culture. When women follow them, it is self-sabotage. To be safe, avoid being a woman whenever possible.

9. Being invisible — 90% of adult humans are unable to visually perceive women. Solution: wear a bear suit.

10. Offer a female handshake — the best way to combat this is to have a man's hand transplanted onto your wrist. Or purchase a giant foam hand at a sports stadium. These are very masculine and you are sure to be taken extremely seriously while wearing one.

2. Here you can see a seriously well done example of "If Facebook existed long time ago".

3. Great, simple and well done explanation of changes in health reform:

4. Another great idea to spread awareness - this time it's social education. From social images - using the style of historic site sign, the authors make strong messages about social injustice.

5. Disproportional poverty levels among minorities. Read full article at change.org "poverty in America".

"nearly 26 percent of blacks and just over 25 percent of Hispanics were poor in 2009. Only about 9.4 percent of white Americans were poor during that same period of time. To be fair, gargantuan gaps between white, black and Hispanic poverty rates (and income levels (pdf)) aren't new. They just got worse — much worse — in 2009.

The reasons are complex and interrelated. They rage from the quality of schools and teachers that serve the nation's low-income kids to, yes, poor personal decisions. But they are also the direct legacy of decades of discriminatory policies and practices affecting everything from the way housing is sold to the way banking is done and other wealth and poverty drivers far too numerous to name. And it's not just a question of what's happened in the past. Poverty disparities are very much a function of what is still happening right now."

This is really a shame. The fact that the richest country in the world has such high levels of poverty is a disgrace. I am coming from a pretty poor country, but everyone could go to a hospital, get medicines with big cuts, single mothers get help, and there is paid maternity leave. I knew people who couldn't afford buying new clothes (ok, almost all of us throughout the years... even now I can't buy new clothes, old habit...), but never hungry.

I just can't get it. How come it is ok to kill and spend obscene amount of money on war, but it is morally wrong to "give away"? Why "tough love" is somehow seen as the ideal? Does it really matter if the single mother is "spoiled" by getting enough money from the government that when combined with her salary (which is what? 67% of what she should be getting if she is a woman of color?) she could have a decent life for herself and her children? Is it really so bad? Why so many people who work hard can't afford health care? How come the income of the top percents of richest Americans multiplied may times, while the minimum wage actually dropped? No one on minimum wage is able to lead modest, but decent life. It's just impossible. The myth that the poor are all lazy, drunkards and have no will power is just such a lie.

How difficult would it be to cut off some from the military spending and build more schools? Hire more teachers so there would be no more than 10-15kids in a class, so each would have individual attention? Why not invest in parks, play fields and after school programs so the kids would have choices and enrichment programs instead of hanging out on the streets where troubles can easy find them? Why not fund hobby-clubs, homework support, support for the very talented and the struggling ones. Education could help millions of kids getting better future. But it just happens that the rich and white middle class who make the majority of people with power, have their kids in good private schools or nice suburban public schools, with tennis classes and private tutors. They talk the most about "everyone has the same chance, everyone can go to university" or whatever other crap. such a bs.

Here is another image that shows the discrepancies in income depending on ethnic background (from family inequality):