Sunday, April 24, 2011

Waiting is killing me.

I am supposed to be informed regarding my possible position in Tulsa by tomorrow. It's been really hard to be patient... I have involved so much thinking, hopes, time and energy into this, that I am afraid the possible disappointment would be a blow. It's hard to do anything else, all I do is just a waiting filler, my mind completely preoccupied. They had one more person to be interviewed this weekend, so it is between him and me. I know I shouldn't have put so much energy into this option when I am still not sure about anything... but that's how I work - when an idea pops up in my head, I just dive head in to learn all I an about it, research, dig, gather information. Same about this job - I know more about the rental market there than many pros. I recognize addresses, places ... I've read too many forum entries, opinions, discussions and even local news. It's as if I were already living there...

I try to be calm and patient, but it's so hard!

I've got the power!

According to the lady I spoke with briefly while waiting for a bus, I caused the tornadoes in Oklahoma. How? Somehow it was clear to her, that tornadoes are direct sign of God being angry with what humans are doing down here.  The one thing she called out that humans are doing wrong? Men are marrying men, women are marrying women. Not criminals, drug users, wife beaters... no, it's the gays who have the nerve to live happily in monogamous relationships.

I didn't response to her. Should I have done something? I don't know. Maybe it was cowardice, maybe the dislike for confrontation and causing troubles. I was stunned, I was hurt, but even more I was shocked with her logic. I just can't understand how people can believe in such a low, bitter, vengeful god. God, who is fine with killing innocent people in Oklahoma (or Japan) because there are two gays living happily in NY? I understand that belief doesn't have to be rational... But does it have to go so completely against logic, ethics or common sense? Why would anyone want to belief in such a god?