Sunday, March 27, 2011

resumes, cover letters...

I have lost my job a week ago. I am past the grieving time (actually it was pretty short) and am in the organizing and looking forward one. I wasn't exactly fired - simply my contract will not be renewed for the next year because of low enrollment. Which is terrifying for me, especially with the severe anxiety issues that I struggle with. But I do have job for now, and money till August. But no savings. I went through the self-whipping phase of "why did I buy this, why not save!", but there is no sense to dwell in it, nothing productive comes from it.
I realized that I have nothing against moving to a different place. Honestly, there is nothing in Baltimore to keep me here, other than a few people I like. I know it's a great chance to find a nice community with more people like me, more cultural opportunities and so on. So what's the anxiety about? It's all about getting there. The process, the job interviews, insecurities, and the worst: moving. I love my apartment, and the fact that I can afford it - unless I move somewhere like Idaho, I won't be able to afford 2bdroom apartment anymore. The perspective of looking for a new one, being scared of commitment to a wrong place or the necessity of having roommates, freaks me out.
For the first phase, I am sending cv's to San Diego, DC and Boston. I think Boston would be the best, but the school has very high standards in Hebrew and I am afraid they might find me not good enough. But I have a very good friend there, and I loved the city when visited. It's also close to Vermont, where I have more great friends. And there is this... atmosphere I miss in Baltimore.

So yeah, a lot of stress mixed with hope and excitement.


  1. Sorry about the lack of renewal. You seem to be proactive about it though, already looking for the future. A new adventure I guess, wherever you end up moving to. :)

  2. Thank you, I appreciate you saying that. I do hope that whatever comes will be good and positive :)

  3. i'm obviously hoping for boston, because it will also give me a good excuse to get to boston more often, but if you went to san diego, that would give me an excuse to go THERE more often, too, and i LOVE san diego! :D

    one of the first things i thought was "oh crap, her lovely purple and red apartment! :("

  4. raven, San Diego is out, filled already ;-/ I really hope for Boston, that would be best. Boston is expensive, but beautiful and close to VT :)

    and yeah, I am also sad about the apt... :(