i am thinking about what does it mean to be rich. was i too harsh? I don't think so. being able to go for vacation, especially really nice one, is being privileged. being able to set aside the money instead of spending it on medical bills, clothes, food, meds, paying old bills and what not. I would probably be able to set aside close to that money over a year. but I would not spend it that way. I can't afford it - even if I had the money. Living on constant edge not knowing when a blow comes to send me over the debt, makes you extra cautious. and priorities are very different. first, pay green card and lawyer (at the moment I was able to save for green card, and half the lawyer). then helping out my Mom which will begin in November regularly no matter if I saved or not, she's finally cutting down on hours (from 11h/day) and getting help from someone to work "only" 9h and have every other Saturday off. So she could go and visit her son and grandson. Then there is this case of a vehicle, at least a scooter, car would be more practical. And constant bills for meds and therapy. I still should do my teeth, but for the moment can't afford it, so I still smile with close lips. I buy clothes in goodwill or on ebay, I don't do restaurants and hardly go to the cinema. I stopped buying books (even though I was buying only in half.com) and use only library. i cook my own food and try to stretch whatever I can, but still making the priority for the food to be healthy and primal. The only decorating I did in my apt was with the cheapest costs - paint, hand made mural, goodwill's side table and whatever cheap I could find in Ikea, discount stores, second-hand store or ebay over the past two years. I workout at home so I don't pay for gym. I get all my info online, so I don't buy workout dvds.
I went for vacation this year - to visit friends up in their farm cottage and then another friend in a bigger city. I could hardly afford the tickets and was long looking for possible options involving every possible form of transportation to figure out the cheapest. I thought I might be able to stay in NY for a few days in a hostel or something... forget it.
anyway, I feel I am really trying to live thrifty, save as much as I can, not spending much on anything else than necessities. And with all of that, I still consider myself lucky and relatively rich. I am living the most rich life (materialistically speaking) I've ever had. I eat foods I didn't have as a kid or young adult. I can afford my own apt now (rental of course) which takes almost half of my salary. I have much more than my mom after working very hard for most of her life. I have clothes that fit. Many of them are new (even if bought online) or almost new. I am lucky even without a car or expensive gadgets.
I don't take things for granted. with all that I have I don't whine, b/c I know most of the people in this country have it much worse than I have. they can't have any savings, even the little ones. they can't afford health insurance or healthy food. I am lucky and I do say it with full thought behind, not to pretend to be modest or whatever.
No comments:
Post a Comment